21.
Make the Men Feel Good
For the man in your
life, here are some recommendations for making him feel special:
§
Flirt with him in public
places
§
Just once, leave the toilet
lid up
§ Lavish him with compliments
§ Tell him how sexy he is
§ Act jealous once in awhile,
even if you are not
§ Remind him that he is a
wonderful mate, husband, father, whichever applies
§ Tell him how handsome you
find him
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22.
Make the Women Feel Good
Just like men, woman love feeling
good about themselves. These recommendations might help:
§
Tell her how beautiful she is
§
Compliment her on her many
skills (be specific)
§
Just once, leave the toilet
seat down
§
Tell her how much she means
to you
§
Let her know that she is your
best friend
§
Show affectionate to her in
front of family and friends
§
Let her know that you find
her sexy
23.
That Kiss
As couples become comfortable with
each other, kisses can become lame. Get rid of the pecks and get
serious with the kisses. The next time the two of you greet each
other, enjoy your kiss and do not be so quick to stop. While there
are appropriate times for serious kissing, they should be loving,
sincere, and passionate, regardless of how long they last. You will
find that as you pay attention to your kissing and let your mate
know that you enjoy kissing them, you will both feel better about
your relationship.
24.
Be Kind to One Another
Unbelievably, kindness is often over
simplified. Even good relationships can lack acts of kindness.
This refers to “Do unto others…” Simple acts of kindness can have
huge impacts on a relationship. If your husband or boyfriend is out
working on the car on a hot summer day, make a thermos of ice-cold
tea and take it to him, giving him a gentle kiss. If your wife or
girlfriend has been working at the computer all day, walk up behind
her and massage her shoulders and neck. You get the idea. Kindness
means looking at the other person’s situation and seeing what you
can do or add to that situation to make it better or easier. This
is a way to validate your respect for each other. Kindness will go a
long way in a relationship.
25.
Special Hobby
Find some type
of hobby that you both enjoy and then do it together.
It might be that you both love refurnishing furniture.
Turn this into an adventure of going to estate sales together
to find nice pieces of furniture and them refurbishing them
as a team. Another option would be if you have both wanted
to learn how to ballroom or salsa dance. Take lessons
together so you can then go out on the town and dance the night
away. This is a great way to make your relationship even
stronger while adding in something fun that you both enjoy.
Maybe something like paintball
to go out and have fun, or if you live near the beach, beach
volleyball.
26.
Listen – Really Listen
Get into a habit of listening to
what your mate is saying. Not the kind of listening that you do
when you go out or sit at the dinner table, but a different kind of
listening. Have you ever overheard your mate make a comment to a
friend or family member about something they really want or want to
do? Maybe you heard your boyfriend or husband tell a friend that
they would love a certain tool. For no reason whatsoever, make a
special effort to get that for him. You might have heard your
girlfriend or wife mention a spa that they would love to try.
Again, without any reason, surprise her. This shows that your mate
is really paying attention to things important to you.
27.
Be a Kid
Do not be a prude. There is
absolutely no reason why couples at any age cannot get into tickling
matches or wrestle on the floor. Do not allow your relationship to
grow old and stale. Understand and accept that it is perfectly fine
to be silly from time to time. If you have nothing special planned
on a Friday night, rent a few games, order in Chinese, plug in the
Play Station, and play games.
28.
All Decked Out
Although most people do not get
dressed formally to go out, as a special treat, find an upscale
restaurant, the opera, or even a ball, where the man can wear a
tuxedo and the woman an evening gown. If possible, rent a limousine
and have a bottle of champagne chilling before you get in. You will
both feel good about yourselves and spending this magical evening
together. This is something unique that brings another unexpected
twist into the relationship, which keeps things interesting and
alive. The two of you will have a romantic night that you will
never forget.
29.
Showing Love
Although hearing the words, “I love
you” is special and important, sometimes you wish you could tell
your mate as well as hear from your mate those words, but in special
and unique ways. Here are some ideas of how this can be
accomplished:
§
Rent his favorite movie, even
if it is something you do not like, and plan an evening alone where
you can be with him as he enjoys his special treat.
§
When he gets out of the
shower, hand him a warm, cozy towel just heated in the dryer.
§
When you make him pancakes,
first pour the words, “I Love You” on the griddle and cook for a
minute to brown. Then, pour more batter over the words to create a
round pancake. The result will be a pancake displaying those three
special words when you flip it over.
§
While he is out of town, wash
his car and surprise him by picking him up in a clean, shiny car at
the airport.
§
Take him out to lunch.
§
Have his favorite breakfast
on the table along with the morning newspaper.
§
Instead of bugging him to go
to the grocery store with you, let him stay home.
§
Display your favorite picture
of the two of you on the refrigerator.
§
Buy him a subscription to his
favorite magazine.
30.
Split the Responsibility
Whether dating or married, weekends
are always full of errands and chores. If you find that on the
weekend things are lopsided, help your mate out. For example, if
there are kids involved and one has a soccer game while the other
has a baseball game, at the same time, offer to take one of the kids
and your mate take the other. Make this a special time by packing a
special lunch or snacks. Perhaps one of you has company coming and
the house needs to be cleaned, laundry done, and groceries
purchased. Set aside something you need done and offer to pitch in
to help. Simply say you want to help and ask which of the jobs you
can take over. This gesture will show your mate that you really
care by sacrificing your time.
31.
Love Means Having to Say You Are Sorry
If you make a mistake by doing or
saying something that is hurtful or damaging to the relationship,
say that you are sorry. Many people struggle with these words, even
when they know that what they did was wrong. It actually takes a
strong person to apologize. Do not wait until you think you have
the courage but say it immediately, and with sincerity. Too often
when couples argue, there is a long period of silence, which
actually makes the anger and tension worse. You need to let your
mate know immediately that you made a mistake and ask for
forgiveness.
32.
Be
Yourself
Do not be phony in your
relationship, trying to be someone or something different as a way
to please your mate. For a relationship to work, both people need
to be themselves and react to things naturally. Just imagine if you
are really kind of on the silly side, enjoying life to the fullest.
Then you meet a wonderful person who is much more conservative than
you are. Because you are attracted to them, you try to squelch your
normal vibrant personality. You are miserable and eventually, the
person is going to be exposed to the “real” you. You have to base
any relationship on honesty or it will eventually fall apart.
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33.
Maintain Your Health
You might think
– what does good health have to do with a good relationship?
In reality, it has a lot to do with it. Having a good
relationship means having the energy to enjoy getting out and
doing things together. To do that, it is important to
eat right. When people are tired, they become short-tempered
and frustrated. For this reason, it is important to get
the right amount of sleep. Good exercise keeps your body
in shape for being adventurous together. Taking care of
your body and mind will flow over into your relationship and
make you a calmer, stronger, and better-balanced person.
(Go here
for more info on health.)
34.
Compliment – A Lot
Be generous with compliments. It is
very common for people to notice something nice about another person
and think about it internally, but never voice it. When in a
relationship, compliments are like glue. They hold the couple’s
attention and respect. Make sure your compliments are genuine and
based on something you see or hear your mate do. If you have a
clogged garbage disposal and your boyfriend or husband is able to
unclog it, compliment them on being handy. If your girlfriend or
wife takes her mother to the doctor, compliment her on her
generosity. The fact is that criticism is destructive and can very
quickly tear a relationship apart. Just like the cliché, “If you do
not have something nice to say, then do not say anything at all.”
This is very true – take notice of the good things your mate does
and make it known to them that you see and appreciate those things.
35.
Realistic Expectations
No matter how wonderful and flawless
your mate seems, no one is perfect. Be careful about putting
someone on a pedestal, especially in the early stages of your
relationship. Make sure that the expectations you have for your
mate and yourself are realistic. There are going to be differences
in opinion, and probably some disagreements. Also, do not assume
that your mate knows how you feel or what you think about
something. When discussing something important to you, ensure that
you both understand the same thing. The reality is that neither one
of you is going to know exactly what the other one needs. As long
as you do not expect them to read your mind and accept that this is
a part of getting to know one another and communicating, you will be
fine.
36.
Leave the Baggage Behind
Every person on the face of the
Earth has some kind of history, or “baggage”, although at varying
levels. Do not walk into a relationship with your arms loaded with
that baggage. The past is the past. Even though there are things
from the past that are hurtful, and even damaging, learn from those
things and come out a better and stronger person. This allows you
to step into a new relationship with better knowledge of what not
to do. Leave the baggage from the past alone, focus on today, and
look forward to tomorrow.
37.
Do
Not Repeat, Do Not Repeat, Do Not Repeat
Learn from your mistakes. When
something goes wrong and the two of you work through it, do not
repeat the same mistake. Rather than dive right back into whatever
it was you did or said, think before you act. At first, this will
take some discipline but as you see positive results in the
relationship, be encouraged that it is working.
38.
Go
on a Date
Especially for married couples, but
even for some “dating” couples, start dating. Often people become
very comfortable in their relationship and sitting around on the
weekends, watching movies is about as exciting as it gets. Ask your
mate out. For example, actually call them and ask, “If you do not
have any plans for Saturday night, would you like to go to a concert
with me?” It is crucial to relationships that they keep the fire
alive by enjoying the act of dating. There are many people in
long-term, successful marriages that will tell you they go out on
dates every week, which has been a huge bonus for their
relationship.
39.
Memory Box
Start a memory box to store old
movie tickets, brochures from cities visited, concert ticket stubs,
old ski lift passes, cards attached to flowers received, old love
notes or letters, birthday cards or anniversary cards from your
mate, anything that the two of you did together. Every once in
awhile, pull the box out and look at the items with your mate.
Reminisce about each memento, and keep all the special times in your
life close to your heart!
40.
Keep the Kids Out of It
Whether married or dating, if there
are kids involved, it is crucial that they are not used as pawns in
any situation. For example, if your mate wants to get intimate and
you are not in the mood, do not say, “I need to help the kids with
their homework,” or if something that needed to be done was not
taken care of because you forgot, do not blame it on the kids by
saying, “I was taking care of the kids and did not have time.” In
the first scenario, be honest with your mate and tell them that you
are very tired and while intimacy is important, you would prefer to
make sure the kids are in bed on time so the two of you can have
some quality time together. This opens an honest line of
communication and does not place ill feelings on the kids,
especially since it is not their problem to begin with.
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