41. Listen to How You Talk
When working on your relationship,
more than likely you and your mate have settled into a pattern of
speaking to each other. It might be with short, blunt answers,
heavy sighs as though bothered, or with negative remarks. Pay
attention to not only your words spoken, but also the tone in which
they are spoken. Be positive, cheery, and respond in a way that
will confirm to your mate that you are listening and truly
interested – that you have time to listen and communicate. In
addition, add terms of endearment into your conversation. Instead
of “Good morning,” try, “Hi honey, good morning!”
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42. Making Love
Intimacy is a huge part of a
successful relationship. Choose a book from the bookstore and try
to bring a little excitement into your relationship. Do not be
afraid to experiment and learn new and exciting ways to please each
other. Keeping intimacy alive is healthy and not a bad thing
whatsoever!
43. Turn the Computer Off
Often the computer becomes a
replacement for a lack of something in the relationship. It might
be just surfing, playing games, or getting involved with websites
that promote pornography. If you notice that your mate is spending
more and more time on the computer, take this as a sign that even if
not doing anything wrong, they are choosing to spend the time with
the computer instead of you. In other words, use this as a sign
that something is missing in your relationship. Start by talking
and searching to confirm what it is bothering your mate and then
work on making it better!
44. Follow Tradition
Keep some tradition in your
marriage, which relates to the vows you took and the fact that
marriage is sacred. Treat each anniversary as a celebration of your
love and the time spent together. Follow the traditional
anniversary gifts and see how creative you can be. The first year
anniversary gift is paper. One husband bought his wife a beautiful
Chinese drawing on rice paper, signed by the artist, and had it
framed for her. Make this fun, exciting, and keep traditions alive.
45. Control Your Anger
Every relationship has difficulties,
and sometimes, there can be some intense arguments. For the sake of
your relationship and the love you have for your mate, keep your
anger in check. First, when people are angry, hurtful words fly,
usually not even meant. However, after spoken, it is too late to
take them back – the damage is done. Another problem with anger is
that the word “divorce” can easily be thrown around. You may not
mean it, but you know it hurts, thus making you the winner of the
argument. NEVER talk about divorce in your relationship, even if
just teasing. If you need to go to another room to cool off, and
then do that, but whatever you do, do not allow your anger to take
control of your relationship.
46. Financial Woes
One of the main reasons other than
fidelity that marriages fall apart is due to finances. When couples
are struggling with money problems, tempers flare, frustration
builds, drinking may start, and it is an all-around unhealthy
situation. The minute there are any signs of financial
difficulties, the two of you need to immediately sit down and figure
out a plan on how to deal with the problem. If needed, go to see a
financial consultant or a credit counseling service to help you get
back on track. Do not allow your finances to get out of line or
your relationship will certainly suffer.
47.
I Forgive You
If something has happened in your
relationship causing the trust to waiver, you will have many things
to work through. When your mate has done something that requires
you to forgive, you have to forgive, REALLY forgive. Once you have
worked through the issue either together or with professional
counseling, and you tell them that you forgive them, you can never
hold that over them again. As an example, if your mate has had an
affair and the two of you choose to work it out rather than throw
the relationship away, once the problems are resolved and the
forgiveness is said, it is done! This means that you cannot stalk
your mate to ensure they are where they said they would be, call or
page them throughout the day, constantly ask for reaffirmation of
your relationship, it means that you forgive and put the past behind
you and then move on in a new, strong, and healthy relationship. It
will not be easy, but you can do it with the right help, attitude,
and commitment.
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48.
Fighting No-No
While having disagreements is normal
and sometimes when controlled, healthy for relationships, the place
and degree of discussion are important. Keep your disagreements
private. Being at a party or anywhere around family or friends and
breaking into an argument is a great way to break down a
relationship. Not only does it cause embarrassment for your mate,
but it also puts a negative light on both of you from the people
witnessing the fight. If you are in public and think you need to
argue, at least find a quiet corner or separate room where you can
discuss whatever it is bothering you.
49.
Strong Family Ties
When in a relationship, not only are
you involved with the love of your life, but also the family of your
mate. It is important to build a strong, healthy relationship with
the families as well. Even if you do not see them often, having a
good connection with your mate’s family will make life for everyone
much better all the way around.
50.
Mentoring
If you know of another couple from
work or your church that has been married for many years and
continued to have a strong relationship, ask them if they would
mentor you. Being around positive influences and watching someone
who leads by example is a great way to learn how to have a good
relationship for yourself.
51.
12-Month Calendar
As a special gift, have a 12-month
calendar created with pictures of special times spent between the
two of you. Arrange the pictures to coordinate with the months and
then as a Christmas or birthday gift, or just as a special surprise,
present it to your loved one.
52.
Something Handmade
You do not have to be a
world-renowned artist to make something homemade and special for the
love of your life. Even making a special, personalized greeting
card would be appreciated and show your mate that you care enough to
take the time needed to make something by hand.
53.
Favorite Meal
If your mate has a meal, that is by
far the favorite above everything else, go all out and prepare
everything to order. Before they arrive home, put on something nice
and a little sexy, light some candles, and have a wonderful surprise
waiting.
54.
Trip to the Pound
If you and your mate love animals,
take a trip to the local animal shelter and pick out a dog or cat
that needs a good home. Adopting an animal that needs a home can be
a wonderful way to have something that you both can care for and
love together. This will open up for long walks, taking your new
dog on a walk, or hours of playing with a sweet and funny cat.
55.
Day at the Movies
Have a movie marathon some rainy or
cold Saturday. Put all your errands and chores on hold and head to
your nearest theater. Hit three or four movies and mix it up. Buy
the theater popcorn and drinks but sneak your own candy in. This is
a great way to spend some fun time together, holding hands or
cuddling, while sharing some laughs and maybe tears watching a
variety of flicks.
56.
A
Walk in the Park
Spending quality time together where
you can talk and just enjoy each other’s company is critical to a
good relationship. Plan a nice walk in the park to include a
comfortable blanket to sit on the grass with while having a good
old-fashioned picnic. Take this time talk, watch other people with
their kids, and then just walk around, hand-in-hand.
57.
Name a Star
As a special gift, ask your mate to
join you outside at night when the sky is black and the stars
shining brightly. Point up to the universe and state, “See that
star over there? That is your star. I bought it for you.” Then
present them with the certificate showing that they do in fact have
a star named after them. This wonderful gift will last a lifetime!
58.
Coupon Book
Create a coupon book filled with any
number you like of 20-minute massages. One day when least expected,
when your mate comes dragging in the door tired after a long, hard
day at work, present this along with a gentle kiss. Although you
are the one offering the massages, if you remain faithful to your
coupons and never grumble, your love life will more than likely be
enhanced and before long, your mate will be the one giving you
massages.
59.
Dinner by the Fire
Order in some of your favorite food,
open a bottle of fine wine, light some candles, and lay out a cozy
blanket in front of a roaring fire. Enjoy feeding each other food,
sneaking little kisses in between. This wonderful romantic moment
will help build your relationship even stronger. This kind of
gesture shows your mate that you really want something special from
your relationship and that spending quality time together is a
priority.
60.
Scavenger Hunt
If things have been a little
stressed in your relationship, do something extra special. Start by
creating a trail of rose petals from the door to the kitchen where
your mate will find a note to go to the bedroom. In the bedroom,
have another note next to an overnight bag telling them to meet you
at a specific hotel restaurant where you know the ambience is cozy
and romantic. The note should direct them to ask for you at the
restaurant where you will be waiting to enjoy a fine dinner
together. After dinner and cocktails, gently lead your mate by the
hand to a beautiful room that you have reserved for the night.
There on the bed is a robe and a red rose. This will do more for
your relationship than you can imagine.
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