81.
Follow Your Instincts
When things are going in a wrong
direction, often people will simply keep going in the same direction
while hoping that things work themselves out. The result is usually
negative. Instead, listen to your gut feelings, your inner
instincts. If you believe that something is bothering your mate or
not right in your relationship, keep it between you and your mate
and work things out as a couple.
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82.
Be Creative
The words, “I love you,” are always
welcomed but why not add some creativity to the way you tell your
mate you love them. Rent a billboard in a location where you know
your mate drives every day that clearly says, “I love you,” request
that your mate’s radio station play a special song and message on
his or her way to work, or if celebrating a special anniversary,
have a skywriter fly by a ball stadium, park, or somewhere special
where you are spending quality time together outdoors.
83.
Make Eye Contact
You may not think this is important,
but think back to the first time you saw your now mate. More than
likely, the first interaction was through eye contact. If you are
having dinner during the holidays with a large group of family and
friends, glance over to your mate and give them a seductive wink, or
if your mate is giving a speech and you are there to offer support,
attentively look at them, making directly eye contact and offer a
warm reassuring smile. Eyes can say a lot!
84.
Learn More about Your Mate
Either find a good questionnaire or
create one that does not dig up the past, but focuses on discovering
other qualities about each other. One happily married couple did
this and the wife, who had been standing by her husband for more
than 10 years, discovered that he used to be a competitive ice
skater. She had no idea. Guess what they did on Saturday?
85.
Change Routines
Understand that every once in a
while, it is important to throw an exciting curve into your
relationship. If you are in a routine for example of offering your
mate a quick peck on the lips before you part ways for the day, try
adding a soft, gentle kiss on the neck. You can be assured that
throughout the day, that change in routine, is what will be on your
mate’s mind.
86. Dance
Finding a nice place where the two
of you can enjoy a slow dance is a great way to spend time together,
holding each other without saying a word. Keep in mind that to
accomplish this, you can stay home and simply move some furniture
out of the way, light some candles, and put on your favorite soft
music and enjoy some quiet, romantic time together.
87. Sunrise/Sunset
Too often people miss the beautiful
miracle of a sunrise or sunset. Schedule time to get up early one
morning with a thermos of hot coffee or cappuccino and find a quiet
place where the two of you can go just to watch the sun rise or
set. Appreciate what nature has to offer and share it with each
other.
88. Explorations
Find something they you are both
interested in exploring and do it together. For example, if you
live in a place where there are caves, make a day of driving around
and exploring caves. Be sure to take the right equipment and safety
precautions but this puts you both in a position of trusting each
other and discovering something new and exciting together.
89. To Tell or Not to Tell
Experts will disagree on how much of
a person’s past should be shared in a relationship and while some
things probably should be shared, most people lean more to not
sharing every aspect of the past. First, it is the past. Think
back to how much people grow through the teen years to
mid-twenties. Offering unnecessary information from the past is a
great way to create distrust, insecurity, and more questions than
answers. Be wise when sharing.
90.
Respect Privacy
When two people come together in a
relationship, each person has their own set of history. There are
yearbooks, maybe love letters from a first love, other objects that
may not seem important to one person but to the owner, they have a
special meaning. It is important to respect the privacy of your
mate’s “stuff.” Do not dig through boxes of things owned by your
mate out of curiosity. Instead, allow them to bring those things
out if they feel it is necessary. By helping yourself, you are
disrespecting something sacred to your mate, which is not healthy
for any relationship.
91.
No
Place for Abuse
Regardless of how much you love your
mate and believe in who they are, there is NEVER an appropriate time
for abuse, whether physical, emotional, or verbal. If your mate
shows aggression or any form of abuse toward you, seek counseling
for both of you immediately to try to work through things. If your
mate refuses to go, even if it is hard, leave. First is your
safety. Second, it is possible for people to learn ways in which to
manage their aggressions. If this is the case, the life of the
relationship has a much better chance of surviving!
92.
Open Your Eyes
Do not drive yourself crazy with
this, but take notice of how your relationship is going. Open your
eyes and take stock of what is and is not working in your
relationship. Are there definite things missing or definite problem
areas that need to be worked on? Think about it. If you invest in
the stock market, you pay attention to what is going on so you can
make changes if needed. Your relationship is far more than the
stock market but requires some of the same strategies.
93.
The Grass is NOT Greener!
Too many times, people get tired of
working on the relationship they are currently in and feel that by
moving on to another person, they will find greener pastures. This
is just not the case. What happens is when you move to another
person, things are fresh, new, and exciting just as they were in the
beginning of your current relationship. Within time, that
relationship will also start experiencing differences and bumps in
the road. Unless you are being abused or your mate is doing
something illegal or completely irresponsible, perhaps the efforts
you would put into starting a new relationship would be better spent
fixing the one you have.
94.
Start a Journal
Keep your personal feelings and
discoveries about your mate in a journal. This will help to
remember what special things he or she likes or dislikes, track the
wonderful times spent together, and help you to feel better when you
hit an obstacle in your relationship. When things get a little
tough, refer to your journal and read through all the terrific
emotions and time together and you will find plenty of reasons to
make things right again.
95.
Be
Flexible
Remember that relationships are give
and take situations, not competition between two people who love
each other. There will be times when your mate is right and times
when you are right. When you feel the conversation getting a little
on the edgy side with each of you trying to hold ground, do not
forget that there can be many ways to accomplish the same task. The
result is that each of you might learn something new from the other
person. Put your heads together and do what makes the most sense
instead of battling for ownership of the solution.
96.
Cut out the Excuses
A major turn-off in many situations,
not only relationships, is people who have an excuse for
everything. Forget that. Do not make excuses in fear of your mate
not liking, loving, or respecting you. Be yourself and if you
messed up with something, just admit to it. Say you had promised to
make dinner, got home exhausted, and just did not feel like making
it, do not tell your mate, “I had to work overtime.” Be honest and
say, “You know, I got home after a busy day and I was too tired.
What sounds better, Chinese or Pizza?” This has taken you out of
the situation of lying and reconfirmed your honest nature to your
mate.
97.
Spirituality
Statistics show that couples that
spend time in church together usually have strong relationships.
Bringing spirituality into your relationship is important. Allow
the love of God to be your ultimate guide and spend time having
devotions together at night. If you are just starting out dating,
religious preference may not seem like a big deal at first, but soon
into the relationship, it can be a big trouble spot. Make time for
God in your life and consider dating someone who shares the same
faith!
98.
Learn to be Successful
Many couples are starting to go to
counseling or relationship/marriage classes much earlier in their
relationship rather than waiting until after the marriage is in
trouble. This is a great option for learning how to have a healthy,
lasting relationship and develop open communication.
99.
Work and Home Do Not Mingle
How many times have you heard this?
It is true. While sharing experiences about your day with your mate
is perfectly normal, living your work at home is not. If you have
to bring work home, set a specific amount of time it will take you
to complete, let your mate know, and then when quitting time comes,
quit! It is important to separate the two parts of your life and
keep you work at the job, and when at home, pay attention to your
mate and/or family.
100.
Encourage Friendships
Men, unlike women, have a more
difficult time in developing close friendships with other men. This
is a natural part of life and while they may have some buddies from
high school or college that they see on occasion, rarely do they set
specific time aside just for friends. Men and women both need an
outlet outside of the relationship where they can just “let their
guard down” and have some fun with the same gender. As your mate
makes new friendships, encourage that growth and show 100% support!
101.
Confidentiality
Women are usually blessed with the
gift of gab, making it easy, sometimes too easy, to talk to other
people. Keep information shared to you by your mate in 100%
confidence. Unless they have told you of a crime they have
committed, they are confiding in you and placing full trust in your
relationship. All it takes is one time of spilling private
information for the entire relationship to suffer.
(There
are no more tips, but there is an e-course I can recommend. It's
about reviving a cold love life and being romantic.
Click here to check it out.)
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